Why do we normally perceive the purchase by men of such trinkets as a gold watch, but immediately begin to reproach a woman for more modest purchases, even if she spends her own money? Writer Jennifer Wright reflects on this. There are things on which a woman can spend money without fear of being caught in “embezzlement”: these are goods for children, a husband and a couple of some other names, without which she would really die. Medicines, for example. Everything else, especially things that serve for her own pleasure, is a sin. At the same time, it does not matter at all how much this or that thing or service costs, it does not matter whether a woman is wealthy or not, she will be shamed and condemned all the same.
Talia Jane recently wrote in the New York Post about how her CEO pays workers so much that they can’t buy enough food, noting that “Michelle Malkin in National Review commented on a $ 6 jar of scrub I posted on my Instagram:“ Here she is enjoying life at the spa with a trendy face mask. ” If people are sarcastic in comments on the six-dollar mask, then what to say when a woman posts a photo of something that most of them really cannot afford. Honestly, it’s sad when someone can afford, for example, expensive clothes, while you are barely paying your rent. Envy of other people’s welfare is not so irrational in our time, when the difference between rich and poor becomes an abyss. The only thing that is unclear is why women are blamed for vanity and “throwing money” more often than men? When we find out that Hillary Clinton spent $ 600 on her hair, we are outraged that this is a manifestation of narcissism of a snob cut off from life, but Donald Trump seems to be able to surround the walls with gold and be considered a “man of the people.”
Men are absolutely not shy about showing off their wealth, think of all these luxurious watches that they “measure” against each other. But woe to the woman who spends the same money for a purse. Partly, this attitude of society is explained by the fact that we are sure: a man worked hard, earned, has the right to spend. And the woman got into the wallet of her husband or father. Nevertheless, we also criticize those women who earn and show where they got their money from. Discussing women’s spending is a new way to infantilize them, it is a way to remind them that they are too stupid to know what is best for them, where they should spend their money. After all, you certainly know how to live and what to buy. It’s like a competition between women who are thinner: if you eat some kind of normal food – that’s it, you indulge your most hellish vices!
The competition “but I gave up shopping” or “I haven’t bought anything for a year” begins in the same way. I read an article by Michelle McGough about her experiment: “I am happier than I was, but that does not mean that I do not miss the small and big joys. For example, I really want to buy flowers. Or go to Ireland, to my father and grandfather. I also cannot get to my mother and sister with my brother by bike. Summer began, and I became terribly jealous of the holidays that everyone around us: one friend has a birthday, and the other leaves for Australia and gives a farewell party, but I cannot go there. It’s bitter and I feel guilty. ” I do not understand this story: no matter how attractive self-denial may be to someone, but not to the same degree. After all, the family may one day not become, and what, then you will shrug your shoulders: after all, I decided that a plane ticket is an impermissible luxury for which someone will blame me? And the comments under such stories try to convey the idea of insufficient frugality of the authors: “Just think, he only pays for utilities and food, but I live like this all my life!” Such commentators, probably, would like women to walk in sacks of potatoes and eat dew. Although there would still be someone who would say that bags are already an excess. These comments are not of great intelligence, they are the product of very conservative views, according to which it is generally a sin for a woman to experience pleasure: be it in sex, in food, or in shopping.
On pleasure and “sinfulness”
Is it selfish to want to have fun? Life is so hard. It is hard for everyone: for the rich, for the poor, for men, for women – they all deserve the opportunity to buy themselves something that makes them happy. Whether it’s a bouquet of flowers, an airplane ticket, or a million dollar painting – if you can afford it and it brings you joy, then there is no reason to be ashamed of such an acquisition. I think that striving for a world where everyone can do something like that is great, but shaming women who want to buy themselves a little joy is not. We have one life. The day will come, and we will all find ourselves where we can no longer buy ourselves flowers, beautiful dresses, or a trip to the sea. So if there is anything that will brighten your day, do it now.